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I Am My Grandson
  On this page: I have a song that I wrote in high school called, "I Am My Grandson". It was a song about the future, basically about what I would tell my kids about life. So with the title I was trying to say that whatever I was going through would be gone through by my kids and their kids and in that way any wisdom I could impart to myself could also be partaken by them in the future. Unfortunately it was a very sad song. They lyrics went:

You know I keep on thinking
What can I tell my kids
When they ask me daddy,
Why'd you bring us here?
Why'd you bring us here?
Don't you know I wanna die.
Don't you know I wanna die.

This may sound adolescent
But you know I'm still alive.
Anyway I'm just repeating
what my daddy had to hear,
Daddy, why'd you bring us here.
Don't you know I wanna die.
Don't you know I wanna die.

And so for my conclusion
I will have to say goodbye.
I wasted some of your time
I wasted more of mine
I left some more behind.
Don't you know I wanna die.
Don't you know I wanna die.

The song was written when I was 15 and was going through some type of depression. It almost sounds like a suicide note, or a call for help, but there is a bit of dry humor to it. The whole idea about writing a song with a chorus of "Don't you know I wanna die" seemed funny to me. This was one of many songs I wrote over the years that were so sad that they actually struck me as funny and I got a certain weird enjoyment playing them when I was feeling blue.

"Why'd you bring us here?" - in other words, why did you bring us into this world of suffering and misery? Even at the early age of 15 I was feeling that my rockstar career was probably not going to happen and that made me feel like I was dying. It was out of the turmoil of that year that I got the idea to become a cellist. It seemed like a safer path than a singer/songwriter/rock guitarist. There were orchestras, chamber groups, college professorships, and there was that chance of really becoming Von Cello and being the next big thing in rock world.

It's funny but I seem to be at the crossroads again. Not quite sure what the future will bring. But I think it is a strange and difficult time right now for almost everyone. So maybe its a good time to look back, take stock, and figure out the next move.
  Author: Von Cello
Eintrag from 26.11.2008
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