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The best part of Vermont...
  What is the best part about visiting Vermont? Well... the maple syrup is great (but so is the syrup in Canada), the mountains are great (but so are the ones in New Hampshire), the stores and restaurants are great (but so are the ones in New York)...

So what can it be?

There are NO BILLBOARDS allowed in Vermont!!!

What is the best thing about California? Is it the Pacific Coast, the national parks, the Grateful Dead, the laid back attitude...

No, it's Rabbi Lederman! Here is his latest joke:

Messages heard on people's answering machines!

1.. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

2.. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.

3.. Hi. This is Shloimy: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me
enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a Shadchan, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

4.. Hi. Now you say something.

5.. Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?

6.. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity
through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.

7.. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number and your reason for calling, and I'll think
about returning your call.

8.. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

9. If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave a
  Author: Von Cello
Eintrag from 22.08.2008
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