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Rabbi Lederman Stikes Again!
  This may not be that funny, especially for those not well versed in Orthodox Jewish customs, but I think it makes an interesting point about how "Americanized" many modern Jews have become. (Or perhaps you "Yiddicized" many other Jews have remained.)
------------

A new company, called Kosher Email is about to release new
software to make sure your emails are kosher. How does it
work? When you download the software it will "read" and "filter"
your outgoing email.

The software will:

* Add Yiddishized names (depending on which software you
order. Available in Sephardic, Ashkenazic and Hassidishe
pronunciations)
* Convert dates to the Jewish calendar
* Add Bli Neder , Bli Ein Hora and IY"H.
* Remove any possible Loshon Hara, Rechilus and Motzei
Shem Raa
* Insert authentic looking broken English and grammar errors
* Certified kosher, L'Mehadrin Min Ha'Mehadrin

Here's an example:

BEFORE:

Dear Dad,

We're landing at JFK at 4 PM on Monday. Please bring the
minivan because Grandma's wheelchair is making the trip. I love
Grandma, but, boy, does she complain.

We are really looking forward to Sarah's wedding on Saturday
night. She and Jake make such a lovely couple.

Love from the kids,

Debbie



AFTER:

Tatti, Ad Mayah v-Esrim,

Bli Neder, we'll be landing, IY"H, at JFK on Yom Sheni
L'Shabbos Bein Hashmashos, with God's help. Please bring the
minivan because Bubbe's (she should live and be well)
wheelchair is making the trip. I love Bubbe. [but, boy, does she
complain].(taken out as loshon hara!; See Shmiras Halashon
2:4)

We are really looking forward to Sarala's Chasana on Motzaei
Shabbos. Her and Yankele make such a lovely couple, they
should build a Bayis Neh-ehman B'Yisroel.

Love from the Gantza Mishpucha, Bli Ayin Hora, tu-tu-tu,

Devorah Sprintze
 
  Author: Von Cello
Eintrag from 25.04.2008
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